Do You HAVE TO Put Salt in It...

In what you're asking?

The wound. Do you have to put salt in the wound?

Apologizing is hard, but hearing someone rip into you further after you have already admitted you're wrong is a downright embarrassing and hurtful situation.

A good way to ensure there is a negative outcome to a conversation is to try and drill your point in. Especially when the other person has made it clear that they understand.

If another person is not only willing to accept they were at fault but they also apologize any further actions towards the situation are now fuelled by spite.

Have you heard the term stonewalling? This is a common practice for both men AND woman.

Stonewalling is a refusal to communicate or cooperate. Such behaviour occurs in situations such as marriage guidance counselling, diplomatic negotiations, politics and legal cases. It also occurs in relationships. Body language may indicate and reinforce this by avoiding contact and engagement with the other party. People use deflection in a conversation in order to render a conversation pointless and insignificant. Tactics in stonewalling include giving sparse, vague responses, refusing to answer questions, or responding to questions with additional questions. In most cases, stonewalling is used to create a delay, rather than to put the conversation off forever.

Stonewalling is also one of the most prevalent narcissistic abuse techniques.

You read that right. Abuse. When you choose to cut off communication with someone during a conflict or conversation with no communication as to why and when you will touch base again you are intentionally causing emotional trauma. Deep down you know you know this. If you didn't you do now.

So why do we do it?

To get the upper hand?

To make the other person "feel what you felt"?

To avoid dealing with hard situations?

To give the situation some space?

Are you just feeling overwhelmed with the situation?

There are many reasons a person may cut off communication suddenly and for extended periods of time.

In my personal opinion it comes down to overwhelm or anger.

Am I saying you have to stay in overwhelming situations, ABSOLUTELY NOT!

But there are appropriate exit strategies that leave both parties satisfied with proper time to cool off. If a situation becomes overwhelming or if you need some space you need to say so.

"I hear you and I need some space" goes ALONG WAY!

This allows both parties to feel heard and the situation will have some time to defuse. You do not have to even accept the apology (if there is one) if you do not feel like it however you do need to address it happened.

In my opinion, ghosting a conversation or another human being is extremely cowardly. Life is tricky but there are many, mature ways to navigate it. If you find you are continually responding in this manner it may be time to end the relationship as it is clearly toxic.

Does this sound like you? It's time to make some choices. How do you want to communicate with the people in your life? With abuse or love?

Too harsh?

Imagine how the people on the other end feel.

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